You know how someone goes and likes a very old post you put up- say like a year ago? Yeah, that happened tonight. At first I had to check myself for getting irritated because of the stream of notifications that came from this newly added friend. But God, lol.
Nah, for real. It was just a matter of changing my outlook and actually looking to see exactly what pictures/videos were being liked. Choosing to do that was probably one of the best things I’ve done today. It was this video (hopefully you can see it above, if not visit my Facebook ) of me doing the gospel challenge last year.
I tend to be very critical about my singing voice. Sometimes I love it. Other times I hate it. In the case of this video, I was in the middle when I posted it. I wanted it to be superb, anointed, gifted etc. I wanted to impress the people. I wanted to impress myself. So I dissected it so much, disappointed in my lack of vocal swag. It was a challenge afterall.
So, it was only by looking at it again, did I really allow the song to touch me. Not because I hit all the notes or did a run, but because the words became truth. This throwback reminded me just how far I’ve come.
Last year was a hard year for me. While I didn’t stumble or fall, I def still wanted to quit. Felt alone. Felt hurt. Misunderstood. Stuck.
But “It coulda been me”. It SHOULD have been me…
outdoors with no food and no home. Or just alone, without a friend, or just another number with a tragic end. BUT YOU DIDN’T SEE FIT, TO LET NONE OF THESE THINGS BE. BUT EVERYDAY BY YOUR POWER, YOU KEEP ON KEEPING ME”.
That’s it! That was me! But thank you God for your never-ending grace and mercy! It should have been me!
So thank you for reminding me how much I have grown and that through it all, you are right there. That’s something I aim to remember everyday.