I don’t typically write abt relationships, my future Adam, Proverbs 31 woman etc. Why not? Cuz I’m too busy trying to stay focused in this relationship lol. It’s hard yo.
This commitment comes 1st. Working out my salvation alone is hard enough, I cringe at the thought of having to apply mercy, grace, forgiveness etc to someone else who could verbally point out my issues. Christ don’t do that lol. *well he does but that’s private between Him and I.
The reality is it’s difficult for me to think about someone (i.e. another faulty HUMAN) seeing all my faults and still wanting to be there. Shoot I don’t want to be here!!!
After all these years fantasizing about this awesome, deep, real love, I never realized that it would require me truly trusting and letting someone in to see the real me. And then, me being ok with not knowing what they would do with it.
I’m afraid. Have always been afraid to love. So that’s why my prayers have been “teach me to love.” Not sure if I am ready for the reality of it.
So Mr. Whoever you are. Bear with me. I’m still learning. It will be me walking by faith for sure because this is truly uncharted territory. But by HIS grace. I know he’ll guide me, protect me and encourage me when I lose my footing- correcting me to the right path.
In the meantime, I’m not preparing for you. I’m preparing for Him. That way I can truly accept and desire WHATEVER comes next because it comes from Him.
So no, you won’t get in the way of me and Jesus, because without Him, I don’t exist.