This post describes so much of what’s going on in my life right now. The more I spend time with God, the more he shows me, ME.
I hate what I see. It’s depressing. Like there’s so much wrong in my life, my heart and my mind. But yet, he still loves me. He still reminds me that he is faithful to complete his work in me, even when I beg for him to quit.
I try to hide in my sleep, but he wakes me. I try to hide in food, but it doesn’t satisfy. I try to hide in being “busy” (distracted-phone, reading, etc) and he makes me restless; all so he can get my attention. To remind me that I can’t hide from him.
He knows that I’m naked. He knows that I’m scared. He knows that I’m hungry. He knows that I’m depressed. He knows that I’m angry. He knows that I’m frustrated. He knows that I’m fighting temptations. He knows it all.
I have to stop running from you. Like Adam & Eve I hide in the trees. Hoping that you can’t see, when I pick up the pieces, my hands bleed. This broken mirror that I am, can only be mended by your hands. Only then, will I begin to look just like you.
No more hide & seek.
One thought on “Hide and Seek”
I love Jackie Hill. She is so authentic and genuine!
I know exactly how you feel. I was just talking to Jesus not to long ago about how I often turn away and want to do my own thing but He remains there tugging on my heart, popping up in everything I do, just because he wants my attenion. He wants to spend time with me. Every time i return i’m filled with shame, but even in my straying there is grace enough to cover all that. There Love enough to bring me back into the fold. It’s His Mercy that follows us all the days of our lives.. And his Goodness that brings us back to reality.