I’m Tired… Part 1

There’s a hole in my heart…My soul… is bleeding…

I need to free…my mind…And see what…I’m feeling…

Cause Lord knows, Lord knows, I’m…… TIRED…

Man if Kelly Price didn’t take those words straight from my head. I am so tired, and not just because it’s close to 5am and I’m still awake. No it’s much deeper than that.

These past few weeks have been monumental; well at least last month was. I reached a significant breaking point in my life and I had to refocus on what is most important. I started this blog to provide insight into my sometimes warped head, but clearly I haven’t been sharing like I should-or even need to.

So I’m starting over.

I’m tired of making the same mistakes or ending up in similar predicaments over and over again. I desire more, I even see more, just my main struggle has been with diligence. I lack it, plus motivation, plus perseverance, plus dedication. I could go on and on. But realizing this, I started to evaluate all areas of my life.

After a very much needed vacation to Charleston. SC in June, I felt inspired, like I was on the right path. Little did I know that on the Greyhound ride back to Atlanta, I would meet someone who would further impact my life tremendously.

I was minding my own business, more focused on finding an outlet to charge my phone. It was around 12am so I was tired and I didn’t feel like standing up next to some girls waiting for the layover to end. So I continued to look around, ALAS! I spotted an outlet right next to the bench at the door. Only issue was there was luggage on the bench where the outlet was.

I am a non confrontational person when it comes to strangers, so I was praying that the person would come back and not make a big deal of me basically sitting right on top of them. He didn’t. He just smiled and sat down right next to me and then proceeded to put his headphones on.

As I tried to politely entertain, but dismiss the Greyhound employee whom I had met on my way up, the older gentleman sat quietly bobbing his head to his music. Eventually, as I floated in my daydream, I saw him move his headphones and he spoke.

He asked me about my sleep mask. I responded, secretly praying that he was not trying to flirt, after all I had enough of old men hitting on me. He continued with his small talk, where he was from, where he was headed and so on. Instead of getting irritated and impatient like I felt I wanted to, I decided to converse.

Eventually he informed me that he was a pastor, and more specifically he had the gift of prophesy, of course you know that intrigued me even more. So we discussed ministry, various pastors and he told me how he had just ministered to a young lady at Greyhound as well. I listened as he revealed how God told him that she was a drug addict, and how he explained that he had been an addict and drug dealer too. He said that all God asked him to do with her was talk to her, listen and pray.

I wanted to hear more. But the tide turned when I said to him that I too had lost my way and needed to get back on track with God. I told him I felt myself heading back because I was scared that if I drifted too far it would be the worst mistake ever.

He then proceeded to inform me, that God had spoken to him about me as well. This man prophesied over my life and told me things that no stranger would ever know. He spoke about my dreams and my purpose.

In those 30 minutes I was confronted with the reality that God had answered my prayers. I wanted to know if God heard me and he did, The prophet informed me that I just needed to let God take control because he has so much in store for me.

I was in awe and it was time to board the bus. We ended our convo by exchanging information and I thanked him for obeying his task and speaking to me. As I sat on the bus, tears began to fall down my eyes because I realized how amazing God is. I also pondered what the prophet informed me. He said, ” God is going to reveal something important to you tonight”. I was like well God did he mean tonight tonight, like yesterday or today’s date *it was after 12, so that could have meant Sunday or Monday- I wasn’t sure lol*

I didn’t get an answer at that moment, but I didn’t care. Far as I was concerned, God had already revealed way more than I deserved to hear. As the bus drove towards Atlanta, I continued to pray, cry and praise God because I knew this was just the beginning…