Thanksgiving is tomorrow and apparently I’m supposed to make the dressing…O_O. Let me clarify, I can cook…matter of fact I’m a beast in the kitchen, when I feel like it. Problem is I don’t know if I feel like making dressing…like what kind of dressing; savory, semi-sweet, nutty? From scratch, semi scratch, or Stove Top it??? Last time I made dressing I also made a turkey (maple glazed turkey with apples) and the dressing was cranberry nut. I try to go all out when I cook, I want to leave people like, “O.M.G that was soooo DEELISH!!!” So being asked to make dressing when I wasn’t planning on cooking is becoming a hard thing to set my mind on. I have not purchased ONE item yet and its Thanksgiving Eve, the stores will be packed…ugh.
But I already know I’m going to do it, even though I have this sense of absolute dread. What if I mess up and its nasty? I must admit my skills might be a little rusty. I haven’t really cooked anything in almost 2 years. However, the reason for this post isn’t about the possibility of horrible dressing, it’s about my thanks.
There are so many things I could say about being thankful, “Ise so thankful, I really is.” I’ve been through a lot, but who hasn’t? My experiences have shaped my character and my beliefs, and I will always believe and know that it was only by the grace of God that I survived. We have a tendency to only say thank you AFTER he brings us through something.
In my reflection on how wonderful he is, some might ask, “why would she thank him for that?” But these things have made it easier for me to be on the path that I am on now, if it had not been for grace, I would be in a much deeper, darker hole. One thing you must know about me, I don’t put on for anyone. I keep it real about everything, so excuse me while I flow; I encourage you to do the same.
I’m thankful for you Lord, for sticking with me through all my mess (and current mess).
I’m thankful for family, for a wonderful father that even though he gets frustrated with me just about daily, I know he loves me and cares for me so much that he just wants the best for me. Thank you for my sisters AND my brothers, no matter how much we get on each other nerves, disrespect and ignore each other, we know that those feelings are temporary and blood conquers all. I may have shut you all out all these years but I know you are still there for me and will always support and love me. Point is my family (aunts, uncles, cousins included) is freaking AWESOME, no matter how we struggle financially, physically, emotionally, we made it and we’re still making it. I could never wish for anything better.
Thank you for my mother, this year has been tough since her passing. I’m not sure if i have ever admitted how grateful I am to have reconnected with her before she left. I am so much like her it’s crazy! You honestly knew what you were doing when you gifted me to her, and her to me. I will never forget the wisdom and advice she gave. I only hope I can become as wise and faithful to you.
Thank you for my life, even though I may have abused my body and neglected my health you have still blessed me with LIFE! Even when I contemplated and attempted suicide (loads of pills when I was 13) you swiftly helped me changed my mind (threw them up). I’ve never been pregnant, never had a STD and don’t have any diseases….THAT’s almost a miracle in itself (especially given my history).
I’m thankful for newfound sobriety. All the times I drove home drunk and/or high, I’ve never caused an accident and that was you Lord. I don’t remember half the things I did while under the influence, I’m just thankful you still protected me. With the countless foolish situations I placed myself in, I’m thankful I’ve never been raped, beaten or abused. I’m thankful I have never been arrested (a friend reminded me of this as I’m the only one who hadn’t in our group) and I’ve done a TON of illegal stuff.
I’m thankful for having a real reason to be celibate. It is pleasing to me to know that my goal is to honor you with my body and to cherish the gift of sex. I know that the next man I lay with, will be the HUSBAND you have revealed to me, not just a dude I was “feeling”. (Lord let him have saved swag like Lecrae ;-)…more on that later)
I’m thankful for my talents. Some I have had all my life, some I’m still discovering. Please, I pray you help me use them for your will. I don’t want to lose the gifts that I have by being idle. Let my words and my actions affect others and glorify you.
I’m thankful for my hair…shoot that’s it. I love my hair, the thickness, the texture, the length…but I am going to cut it all off because I recognize it can be a symbol of vanity and envy for me (“Ooh my hair better than hers”; “I wish I had her hair”). I’m trying so hard not to be vain people, but ya’ll compliments and critiques not making it easy!!!
I’m thankful for my friends. ALL of you, and there are a lot of ya’ll. I’m not going to define who is a friend, associate etc because that doesn’t matter. If I have hung with you and talked to you, then you have been a friend, even if only for a little while. Every single last one of you have played a part in my development, some good some bad, regardless I don’t regret any of it. Even though I’m distancing myself from some people, I still love all of you. I just need to focus on me right now.
I’m thankful for my job. I’ve been with Bronner Bros for so long and I’m just now realizing that we are a family, in our own weird way. I took you all for granted and may have even turned up my nose to some of you because ya’ll were just “work people”. But in my time of need everyone showed me nothing but love and support. I appreciate everyone that have extended words of friendship, comfort, advice and even criticism, they have helped me grow and I hope I can offer the same back.
I’m thankful for my faults…physical impercetions that make me, ME. I’m thankful for the ability to start embracing ALL of me. One day I’ll be bold enough to not care and show it to everyone, but for those who know what I’m talking about haven’t I gotten WAAAAYYYYY better?!?!? 😉
I won’t go into all the material things I can say thank you about because who isn’t thankful for shelter, car, clothes, shoes?? (If you aren’t check yourself because you are blessed beyond measure) In this season, I’m learning to be content with what I have already. We are so consumed with MORE, MORE, MORE, that we forget how much we have. Look deeper, look inside acknowledge your blessings in the midst of your storm and that storm will pass by leaving less damage than you imagined.
I have a ton of shoulda, coulda woulda’s and while I’m so thankful after my eyes have been opened I continue to say THANK YOU LORD everyday, in the good times and the bad. In the meantime, I took a break from this post and I went to the store for my ingredients for this dressing. It’s gonna be traditional dressing from scratch. I’m praying over it so you pray over it too. But I’m very thankful to be able to make this dressing to fellowship with my family another year. So remember everyone, give thanks everyday you wake.
*oh and I’m sooooo thankful for this blended float with Reeses from Sonics…it is sooooo good (even though given my lactose intolerant stomach, I’m sure I might regret this later…but thank you for regularity!!!) 😉