That is true faith.
See it through my eyes
It’s an awesome prize
This crown, this gift, this love I bestow,
It’s worth more than all the silver & gold in the world.
But you must trust.
Trust me, trust me
“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
So the date is set. 12.30.15. That’s the day the Lord gave me. I’ve known it for almost a month now. But even though I heard it through prayer and fasting, there was something in me that questioned everything: DOUBT.
I found myself not trusting the one who orchestrated this whole thing in the first place. So I started trusting myself. Started needing to see the evidence of me getting married. The girl who was once ok with no ring, no wedding, etc started to ask and nag about EVERYTHING.
I mean, after all, just about everyone else gets an engagement ring, etc…it’s the norm! I had gotten to the point where all I wanted was the verbal affirmation of engagement. Like that’s a stage I HAVE to be in to get married. But God didn’t tell us to get engaged, he told us to get married.
Even after we messed up (I’ll discuss this more in a Periscope/Youtube vid), God said “You need to marry.” It’s the same thing he’s been saying since day 1. He hasn’t changed. But I did.
I let doubt rule my heart, which led to frustration…and sin. My eyes became clouded with fear. What if it doesn’t happen? What will people say? How will I look? How will I feel?
There’s been so many “I’s”. “I feel, I want…” I’ve been consumed with myself, pushing God out little by little. So it’s no surprise that Sean felt like I was a negative Nancy. I had no peace, no joy, no reassurance…because Faithe was leading.
And remember Faithe void of Christ is an absolute wreck of a woman.
But when I remember all that God has said, from the beginning until now, he’s never failed me. He has been working for me…in overtime and I’ve been distracted and complaining.
So right now, I’m healing. Sean is healing. But one thing we will continue to do is trust in the Lord and move forward with the last thing he said. So there it is.
December 30, 2015… #FutureMrsJones