Real Love

Real love
I’m searching for the real love
Someone to set my heart free
Real love
I’m searching for a real love

Ya know, it’s flattering. Actually beyond flattering for me to get such a large positive response from everyone regarding my last post. And I thank you, I thank you all very much. Didn’t expect this type of response. So while the applause is great, I pray no one is getting caught up in the swell of “love”- myself included.

See, to be frank, I didn’t post my announcement to get any approval- I did it to overcome my fear (of rejection and insecurity of acceptance) and to confirm my faith.

I believe Christ is calling me to live out a very radical and bold life, according to wordly (and some Christian) standards. I have to be mindful that even with the good things to not seek the approval of others. That’s hard. I lived 28, no 29….ummm actually 30 years being wrapped up in the approval of others. I’m just now seeing the weight of it all and I pray that God will cleanse my heart of it; but I dare not say it will never be an issue again. Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall. 1 Corinthians 10:12 (Thanks for the reminder of this sis!) 

I’m capable of falling and do fall in many ways and the above verse was a lesson I needed to learn. And knowing of my capacity to fall, there was something that struck me the most after I posted:

1)Are we more in love the IDEA of love? (the fluff) Have we fully comprehended what BIBLICAL love is? (the hard truth)

To address this, you’d have to know the difference between WORLDLY & BIBLICAL love.

World Definition via

  • a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
  • a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for parent, child, or friend
  • to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in:
  • to need or require; benefit greatly from

From this definition (not in its entirety) we see how love is greatly attached to how we feel, or in other words: OUR EMOTIONS. 

This author provides more insight on the difference:

The primary meaning of the word “love” in Scripture is a “purposeful commitment to sacrificial action for another.” In the Bible it is a fact that loving God is equated with obeying His Word. The two are inseparable.

In our day, most define love as some type of feeling. We “fall in love,” or two people meet and it is “love at first sight.” But the world’s love is a selfish matter. If you are attractive to me, be nice to me, meet my needs and love me I in return will “love” you. The world’s love is based on getting something from some else. The world does not give love where is does not benefit themselves. If you do not please me then I have no love for you. Thus for the world love must be earned by making someone else feel good.

Powerful emotions may accompany love, but it is the commitment of the will that holds true biblical love steadfast and unchanging.Emotions may change, but a commitment to love in a biblical manner endures and is the hallmark of a disciple of Christ. Sadly, the opposite is also true.

Emotions will vary, but a commitment which has its basis in biblical love will not be affected by the whelm of emotion or of one’s circumstances.  via Bible Truth (Cooper Adams)

Basically, as Voddie Baucham puts it: The biblical definition of love is that love is an act of the will (it’s a choice) accompanied (not led) by emotion that leads to action (it’s proved by our efforts) on behalf of its object. 

So, again: do we love the WORLD IDEA of love or the BIBLICAL TRUTH of love? Sad to say, I believe it’s more of the idea. And my reasoning can be seen in the comments & likes.

There were so many ooohhs and ahhhh’s, and happiness galore! Because the idea of love is warm, and fluffy like a moist brownie (I LOVE brownies btw) and we ALL love to see people in love. It gives us hope, makes us feel emotional, and so on. And frankly, I don’t really see anything wrong with that in itself. My issue is when it becomes the main focus…and stays there. We applaud those who get in relationships, engaged & married. But where is the applause when the trials start and the true person is revealed? Has our infatuation of love ended?

Usually, we just look in horror as the guilt is revealed saying I would never share that publicly or hoping it doesnt happen to us. But by our worldly definition, a person is crazy to stay in a situation that doesn’t look right. *I know ole girl, she ain’t eva gonna change. I knew it was all talk”. Again, love based on temporal actions is doomed to fail.

No wonder so many people are living Instagram lives, trying to keep up with the happiness and joy. We as people don’t know real love. We shut up and shut down when things get real. It becomes embarrassing and a secret you keep until after you’ve gotten through it, over it…or taken it with you to the grave. Can’t reveal that this perfect God sent love of yours is currently dragging you and your emotions through the mud. But where is the honor in that, Christians? Where is the grace?

When you go into love KNOWING that the person WILL fail you and accepting that reality, you see the beauty of love. It’s not about you: it’s about Christ.

I only want you to see CHRIST. That’s it. Yes I will take some cute, edited pics & vids here and there along with some ugly, raw ones but above all, Christ is all that matters.

My love story is not a fairytale and I pray it never turns into one. The only story I want you to be moved by is how much Christ loved us that he would die for OUR sins. And He does it by redemption & grace.  CHRIST IS REAL LOVE. It’s bloody, deadly, sacrificial, suffering, agonizing, dirty, raw, humbling and more. We should try to respond to love with more than the fluff of our emotions, but also with somberness; with practical words of encouragement for the road ahead. You commit to love- it’s not something you fall into.

I didn’t fall in love with Sean; I chose to love him. And I will choose to love him as long as God gives me the ability (when we are united in covenant it will be “as long as I shall live”). I’m committed to being there when the bottom falls out AND when we’ve moved mountains. This isn’t about what will make me happy- it’s about how will others see Christ glorified?

If marriage is meant to be a ministry, it is one I didn’t see coming for me anytime soon. But since I accepted the call, I want to be diligent in it. That starts with again saying thank you to everyone who said “congrats, etc” but please, don’t overlook the truth. We’re not perfect, never will be- not even for each other lol, but in Christ we will biblically love each other through it all…and sometimes we’ll need you to remind us.

I love ya’ll so I hope this allows you to examine how you view & apply love, to Christ and others.

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