I have absolutely no clue what that master plan looks like or fully consists of, but the way things are turning out it seems as if something is certain: God wants me to be creative.
That’s HUGE for me because over 2 years ago, when I came to Christ, I walked away from EVERYTHING. Literally everything. I left my job and even some friends. I laid it all at his feet.
Although it was certainly necessary to cut a lot of things off, I realize now that instead of submitting some of the things out of love, I did it out of fear. Let me explain. I was afraid that being involved in certain activities I would wind up back in sin. So snip snip, it was all cut away.
Now, while I would never change what I did at that time (it was needed) I see how in a way, that fear has kept me trapped and feeling stuck.
As much as I “loved” drinking & partying, there was something I loved even more. Something I lived for: being creative. It was in my blood. And I longed for an outlet.
So first, I asked God to help me cope with not being in those environments anymore. Which he did. But then I prayed if could he link me up with other Christians that were creative. Shoot, at my church there are sooo many, I just knew we would be kicking it in no time having brain sessions.
But no. For some reason, that never happened. I felt uncomfortable. No one got me. But over and over again, I kept meeting people who were unsaved, even followers of other religions who just were dying to work with me.
Like literally, they would call me even after I had been M.I.A. and just say let’s work. We need you. We love how you think. At one point, I got so scared that it was a trap of the enemy, to pull me back into my old life. So I stayed away, trying to protect my salvation.
Yet, I still had a creative void. So I tried working with some Christian people. Fail. There just wasn’t any chemistry. It wasn’t organic. And I was distraught. Where was my crew??? My creative clique???
Lo and behold, in the past few weeks the Lord brought one of my dearest creative buddies back to Atlanta. I was on cloud 9!!! He texted me literally the day after I was talking about how he wasn’t here and it’d be hard to work with him out of town.
So, factor in that, plus the friend that won’t stop asking to work with me, PLUS the new creative people God has linked me up with at church…and you have a recipe for something AMAZING!
Now it’s just time to get to work. Please pray for me as I focus on what the Lord wants me to do. I’m a Jill of All Trades, so it can be difficult to focus on only one thing, but I know God is lining something up.
I’m excited and scared still. But I trust the Lord. There was a lot of growing I needed to do to be prepared to go back into darkness. The Lord confirmed to me that he needs me to be a light, so he’s equipping me to go back in and go to work. How can souls be saved if I’m only kicking it with other Christians?
I can’t do this on my own, and not even foolish enough to try. My flesh will try to have its way. But I will stand firm and continue to give honor to God, seeking out his plan.
Thank you Lord for trusting me. I will continue to trust and believe that you will send the people I will work with, as you have already done. May everything we do bring you praise and give honor to your name. Amen!