The Fight for Love

Originally written March 8, 2015, edited today.

I think I get why I needed to do this. How can I expect to help others when I’m still hurt inside and not dealing properly with my own pain? I thought I buried it.  But these posts [about my mother and brother] have made me weep.
If nothing else, get this point: LOVE- pure & holy love, will have you to love your enemies; regardless of the hurt and pain they caused. So, even that little bit of pain and rejection you
feel needs to be dealt with. You know, that twinge you get and then try to suppress- yep. It needs to be dealt with.

When we learn to love in a holy manner, we’ll understand for REAL how Jesus said,  “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” You can close the door or burn that bridge if you want to. Don’t be surprised when the Holy Spirit opens it back up and tells you it’s time to clean house.

You didn’t heal, you just ignored it.

Love forgives AND restores. I asked the Lord to teach me how to love and he’s brought to my remembrance the 2 examples I had of unconditional love and I KNOW I have murdered, slandered, and beat them with my words and actions over the years.  YET, they still loved me.  Didn’t give up on me. Didn’t shut the door. 

No! Instead they hugged me, kissed me, told me that we had 2 opposing spirits, but then reminded me that I was the Lord’s. I’m sure it hurt so much for my own mother to feel rejected by me. But nevertheless, she took her concerns to God. No wonder why she prayed over/for me every night, while I was sleeping! That was her way to show love (prob the only way she could without me inciting an argument)

And whenever I did something wrong to Maurice or ignored him, I would hear him talk to himself. Shoot, he was probably saying to God- this girl better be glad I’m disabled! Lol. But yet when he dealt with me, even if he got smart he turned around and still wanted to hug,  like nothing had happened. 

I’m not saying to deal with everyone and everything, but check how often you’re really letting the Holy Spirit close these doors…and not you and your feelings. Bottom line: let the Holy Spirit guide you…FOR REAL.

What the Holy Spirit says is trust and obey in ALL things because it’s the small unforgiving, unloving sins that will keep some of the most “holiest” Christians out of heaven.

I’m sick and tired of getting offended about the dumbest things. Things that don’t matter or don’t affect my salvation. Yet, me letting what you do or don’t do to me DOES. God says forgive, point blank period- no exceptions, no debates, no opinions.

My shield and my banner is Christ. I don’t need to build walls or a fence. God got me! I’m already protected as long as I stay in him. That’s the promise I choose to believe.

If I say I want to love, then LORD show ME how to love. I don’t care about how so and so loves; how wrong or right it may be- it’s just me and you. You teach me.  That’s it.

When will we get to the point where we trust him soley? Regardless if it’s opposite of what everyone else is doing. Seriously, this is the God that told Hosea to marry Gomer- a prostitute whore?!? And we tripping over doctrines, church hurt and hurt feelings. 

Keep living in your flesh and you’re going to get hurt. Duh! FLESH HURTS! Why you think we experience growing pains? And stop getting mad with people who LIVE in sin. They don’t understand nothing about killing the flesh, they live in it daily! 

Hey “Christian”, cut off your tv, put down your phone, get in the word, get in tune with his spirit and watch how that stuff will start to roll off your back. When you die to your flesh, you live through the Holy Spirit, do you think mere words/opinions of people can peirce him? Nah, I think not.

What I won’t do is put you…a human, in a position of authority over my heart. My praise & worship is for God alone. People will no longer affect my actions,  my speech or my demeanor, because I take all hurt to God alone and leave it there. So now, I’m free…. for real.

Amendment: the way Christians love should be looked at as crazy to those in the world. So, “Christians” why do we tend to pattern our love in the way of the world?

Be free from others ideals and standards,  even those formed in Christian fellowship.  Love the way the Lord leads you to love. No formulas, no guides, no rules- just bible & the Holy Spirit.

This ride I’m on, made no sense to my flesh at first but with submission to the Holy Spirit, I’m at peace because I know, God is faithful.

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